Turkey b!tchfest

It’s true, I don’t like driving. I can’t look out the window for long, nor can I just drift off to sleep. There’s just something about having another person drive… Plus, people in San Francisco can’t drive. That being said, I think I should make it my goal to either stop commuting back home, live here and use Muni until I decide to move…. Or just get a chauffer, you know, when I make it big.

My sister made me book tickets to see the Harry Potter movie this Wednesday, before Turkey day. I’m excited; I really want to see it though I have heard negative reviews from others. I don’t think it’s possible to stuff book number four into a two hour (almost) movie. And Daniel Radcliffe irks me with his sub par acting. Goodness, you’d think after three movies, he would have learned something by now. Still, I can’t judge yet since I haven’t seen it. But I think I might be right about him anyway.

After that, it’s dinner with the extended family on my mom’s side in huffy puffy Los Altos. Thanks to my yoga instructor aunt, I look forward to eating tofurkey, sugar-free cranberry sauce, fat-free gravy with some kind of a healthy version of mashed potatoes (possibly soy in some form)… and organic apple cider. And of course we’ll have lots and lots of salad, with vinaigrette and whole wheat buns. Gawd. Maybe I can siphon from a bottle of wine somewhere to mask the taste of healthy for a few seconds. It’s worth a try. Maybe my chef cousin from Boston will be there, maybe there’s still hope. Maybe we’ll be eating fancy turkey with some sort of a twist (which kind of defeats… oh never mind). Maybe lack of sleep is making me delusional, totally blocking reason and replacing it with misguided hope.

I think I should bring a book, though I doubt I’ll be reading anything. I’ll be forced to help out with serving the delicious dinner and trying to avoid the barrage of questions from various nosey relations. I remember my mom asking me if I wanted to come since my cousin invited me (to show off her house) and all I can think of is… Yeah. I’ll go. Just to get it over with. Maybe I won’t have to see them again for another year or so.

Ah. Holidays. They bring out the best in me.

Did I mention that I have to work the Friday after Thanksgiving? The market is open, so we have to be open. But it’s not like I’ll be so laden with delicious food and good times the night before that it’ll be a struggle to get up to work. If anything, it’ll be the opposite.

I’m going to hell.

But I know that already.

Happy Thanksgiving! I’m sure I brightened your day with this post.

At least you’ll have pie. Made with real sugar.